i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
