How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His hands were made for my vagina.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
