I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
