is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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