hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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