i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
