Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
