I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
