New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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