look no pants
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
