I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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