Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
