we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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