So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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