This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
