His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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