your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so that wasnt chicken after all
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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