someone get that fucking seahorse.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
