I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
