Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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