john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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