I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
