I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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