For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
