You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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