i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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