jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
