No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
