.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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