In the future we'll all be gay
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
