my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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