While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The air was thick with penises
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
