My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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