Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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