meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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