The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
