We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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