i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
