Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
