I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
this hospital has no fireball
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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