he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Can I color on your dick again?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
