Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
