i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
