He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you didnt know i had herpes?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Randomize
