I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
