He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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