Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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