Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
