I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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