I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
