One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
