okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
