Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
3pm strippers are depressing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
