TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
