I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
