I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
