his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
