That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize