Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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