Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
