we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
