well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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